


Careful Observation

by radhaj



Category: L'Arc~en~Ciel
Genre: Angst, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Slash, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 16:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radhaj/pseuds/radhaj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyde's too careful to make a move until he's completely sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Careful Observation

Hyde has confidence in his ability to observe and gauge the situation well. Or more specifically he is confident about his ability to read people well. It has been thoroughly practiced and explored in his years of being the front man and trying to make sure that every single person in the audience was having a good time. Of course, it became harder as years passed and the venues they performed in got larger, but Hyde was nothing if not stubborn. He honed his skills in that department well, not only on stage but in personal life too. He could always say when a friend of his was disappointed, or needed help or even just wanted something they couldn't get, no matter how much they tried to hide it.

But sometimes, especially when things got too personal, he would make mistakes simply because of his partiality. Fortunately, he was well aware of this fault of his and meticulously sought confirmation from others when he started to doubt his own judgment.

Such was the situation he was in right now. He had observed things from every angle possible for him and came to the conclusion that he would not be able to proceed without getting an outside opinion first. Luckily, he knew just the person who could help him best.

"Yukki," he whispered, sneakily glancing towards the other two of his bandmates, making sure they were otherwise occupied and would not overhear. "Well? What did you think? Was I right?"

It had been a pinch awkward and a spoonful embarrassing to broach the subject with the drummer, but Hyde knew that Yukki was the perfect choice to make sure he was not just imagining things. After all, the skinny man spent much of his life on stage with a first class view not to the audience, but the other members of L'Arc~en~Ciel themselves. Moreover, being a quiet and a very observant person by nature, the drummer could now officially be called an expert of his three bandmates' interactions and moods. Hyde was further persuaded that he chose the right person for the job when Yukki was not in the least bit surprised when the singer first told him what bothered him.

"As I already said before, I'm sure that your observations are correct," Yukki whispered as quietly as Hyde had, his choice of words over-dramatic on purpose, "On a scale of one to ten, Subject A's, a.k.a Tetsu's, expression scores a ten in jealousy every time you approach Subject B, a.k.a Ken, for fanservice instead him. It can also be accompanied by an expression of confusion and/or obvious feelings of betrayal, all negated immediately when you come back to Subject A's side."

"Yukki," Hyde groaned quietly, burying his face in his hands, "you're not taking this seriously! This is very important to me and I can't afford to be wrong..."

The drummer's response was instant and more amused than apologetic:

"I took this seriously enough during the first few lives, even though I could have given you the answer from my previous observations just as well. How many times do you have to confirm it before you take action?"

"I have to be absolutely sure," Hyde answered, now simply staring at his own hands, though he was obviously a little relieved and smug at Yukki's assuredness of his being correct.

"Well then, why don't you spend a couple more months repeating this comical experiment?" Yukki said sarcastically, but to his surprise, Hyde took it seriously and just nodded to himself.

"Maybe I should."

He ignored the incredulous look on the drummers face. He was excited and tingling with hope inside, but he did not feel absolutely confident yet, and he could not afford being wrong.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

The second time Hyde got affirmation from someone else, it came from an unexpected source in unexpected circumstances.

He was in a bar, surrounded by at least six other men - his juniors from various other bands. He always took some time to hang out with them, not only because it seemed to cheer them up and improve their morale to socialize with someone of his stature, but because he actually enjoyed their company. This time, however, he was just too distracted and had to periodically remind himself to listen to the ongoing conversation.

"...but that's superfluous," Aki was saying when he tuned in once more, "I think the more subtle ways are far better and most likely more effective. Like how you guys do it, Hyde-san. I always wondered whose idea it was, that pretended rivalry between Ken-san and Tetsu-san?"

Six curious faces turned to look at Hyde.

"Huh?" Hyde was not entirely sure he heard right.

"You know, the way that Tetsu-san pretends to be jealous when you go to Ken-san instead of him?" Aki explained. "I always thought that to be genius. I've even heard the fangirls discussing it once when I went to a Laruku live."

He did hear right then. So Aki (and apparently fangirls) noticed it as well?

"Oh, that," Hyde tried to improvise and hide his disbelief at the same time, "It's such an old trick, I don't even think about it anymore."

It felt like the biggest lie he had told in his entire life.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yukki," Hyde called as he tried to catch up with the drummer as he was walking towards his car with full intention of going home. Hearing his name being called, however, he stopped and waited for the singer.

"Do you think," Hyde said a little breathlessly once he reached him and looked around to make sure they were alone in the parking lot, "it might be just fan service on his part?"

Honestly, he hadn't considered the possibility before Aki mentioned it, convinced that he'd know if the emotion in the bassist's eyes was just pretended. Surely he would, right?

"No it isn't, and I'm sure you're as aware of it as I am," there was no doubt in Yukki's tone, "Stop searching for things that could mean something else, Hyde. And don't insult both mine and your own knowledge of our friend."

"I thought as much," Hyde mumbled to himself. "Thank you, Yukki," he said a little louder, but still a sliver distractedly. That was one less thing to worry about, one step closer. His heart thumped loudly and Hyde allowed himself a small smile.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

The third time was far more blunt than Hyde would have liked.

"So, when exactly are you planning to make a move on Tetsu?"

Hyde almost choked on his beer. He was on an outing with Sakura, counting on it to distract him and he certainly did not expect his old friend to call him out on the very subject that was always on his mind lately.

"Wha-What do you?-" insert a cough here. Okay so maybe he did choke on his beer.

"It's been already going on when I was still in the band Hyde, you can't expect me be ignorant of it. I'm a drummer too, you know, I'm just as observant as Yukihiro. Speaking of whom, he mentioned to me a while ago that you seem to be finally addressing the issue. So?"

"I-" Hyde started, finally recovering from his coughing spree to talk, but not not enough to think of what exactly to say.

"It's easy enough, Hyde. You doing fanservice with Ken equals a jealous Tetsu. You doing it with him equals to a reassured Tetsu," Sakura was now talking as he would with a child. "Just go for it."

Hyde just stared at the top of their table. Maybe it was indeed time.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yukki," Hyde whispered before a live a few days later, while the guitarist and the bassist were talking about something or another in the opposite corner of the room, "what do you think I should do?"

"Do you really need to ask?" The drummer remarked with a raised eyebrow. The singer sighed.

"Yeah, you're right."

His heart was beating fast. Who had he been kidding? It was as clear as day, there was nothing for him to hesitate about. He should just give both himself and the man he'd been in love with for the past eight years what they both wanted.

He was finally completely confident and he was ready. He smiled at the drummer and received a reassuring smile in return.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

The opportunity came four days later, when they had a few days' break in their tour schedule before the three final concerts. Late in the evening, his manager called to confirm a few things and by a freak chance mentioned that Tetsu was still slaving away over paperwork in his office. After hanging up, Hyde sat still for two seconds more before making up his mind, grabbing his keys and wallet and throwing on a jacket. A minute later, he was already driving the familiar streets towards the record company's building.

His mind was so focused on the task at hand that he did not notice a very familiar car that he parked beside. Had he noticed it, maybe he would have been more prepared for what was waiting for him. As it was, he carelessly strode through the almost completely abandoned building with a clear destination, almost humming in his nervousness and excitement. Finally, it was happening, finally...

The door to the bassist's small office was a little bit ajar, a sliver of light shining onto the floor outside of it. Hyde took a final deep breath, let an excited smile bloom on his face and took the last few steps towards the door, already raising his hand to push them completely open.

It was at the last possible moment that he heard voices coming from the inside and he stopped in his tracks, his arm still raised, a smile staying firmly on his face.

"...just one more hour, I swear," came the almost whiny voice of the man he had come to see and the smile on Hyde's face widened a fraction more. Always the workaholic, he thought to himself. He did feel a little disappointed that the bassist was not as alone as he had hoped though, but he had waited so long, he could certainly wait a little longer. The only question left was whether he should still show himself to his most dear friend tonight. Who was he talking to, anyway? He got his answer not a moment later.

"That's what you said when I called you two hours ago, Tetchan."

It was Ken, Hyde realized with a start. Well, that was not too surprising. The guitarist was a very dear friend too, after all. He had as much a right to check up on Tetsu as Hyde did. Some sounds that Hyde could not really identify followed, signifying movement in the room and Hyde lingered still, eavesdropping forr a reason he did not really know himself

"Stop here for today," Hyde's smile finally wavered when he heard the husky tone that Ken was now using, "I've plans for us for the night. Those papers can't possibly be more interesting."

Hyde's eyes widened, and his heart jumped painfully to his throat, making him feel faint. His still raised arm wavered as strength left him and it dropped to his side, accidentally nudging the door further ajar on its way down. Silently, not alerting the occupants of the room, the door opened a few inches wider, granting Hyde a narrow gap to see inside.

Hyde's smile disappeared into nothing and he could hardly breathe.

The man that he came here to confess to was lovingly and leisurely kissing with the guitarist. And when they separated, he looked up at the taller man with the softest gaze that Hyde had ever seen in the bassist's eyes, even as he smirked.

"And you say that I'm possessive. At least I don't get jealous of paperwork."

Quietly, the singer fled.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Yukihiro flexed his stiff joints on his way to open the door. It was late, but people of his profession rarely were active during conventional hours, as proved by his own being happily immersed in his mixing work when the doorbell rang, It was no more surprising to get visitors at this time than it was at any other and Yukihiro was completely relaxed when he reached the door.

His relaxation disappeared without a sign, however, as soon as he took a look at who was waiting behind them. Concern and dread flood into his being and he scrambled to unlock and open the door.

"Hyde?" he asked as soon as he was done. The expression on the singer's face was one he'd never seen before and it put him on immediate alert.

"Can I come in?" The normally vibrant voice was quiet and emotionless. Without even thinking abut it, the drummer led his friend into his living room and carefully sat him down on the couch. He looked shaken enough to need the help walking. Distantly Yukihiro wondered how the other even got here without getting into an accident.

"Do you want some cacoa?" he asked, sensing that the singer was in need of the comfort beverage, even if he did not yet know why. At the tiny man's nod, he slipped into the joint kitchen and made the promised drink as quickly as he was able to. When he came back, he carefully handed the hot mug to the motionless singer and sat down beside him, a worried frown on his face.

"Hyde, what happened?" He asked gently almost dreading the answer.

"We didn't have a Control in our experiment, Yukki," the singer said numbly, making no move to drink, instead just staring at the light brown liquid. "Our results were incorrect."

Yukihiro did not completely understand what Hyde was saying but waited patiently for him to continue. Before doing so though, Hyde raised his eyes to look at the drummer and Yukihiro was pained to see them filled with tears.

"What do yo think would have happened had I gone to you for fan service instead of Ken?" the singer asked, his voice breaking in the middle of the sentence and the drummer could only shake his head, indicating he did not know the answer.

"It wasn't me, Yukki," Hyde's voice was seeped through with heartbreak and Yukihiro finally began to understand what exactly happened when Hyde chuckled self-deprecatingly and a tad hysterically. "It wasn't me," he repeated and let the mug of cacoa slip from his fingers and fall with a thump on the floor, staining the carpet.

But Yukihiro cared nothing for that. Not when one of his closest friends buried his face in his hands starting to cry, not when his body trembled with distressing sobs once Yukihiro gathered him in a comforting embrace.

"Two of my best friends are happy, why am I not happy for them?" Hyde asked brokenly and Yukihiro felt tears prickling at his own eyes.

He did not know an answer to that, no amount of observing other people could have given it to him. But what he did know was that one of his best friends was heartbroken, and he was heartbroken for him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yukki," Tetsu whispered, keeping an eye on their singer as he sat silently a short distance away, picking absentmindedly on the strings of his guitar, "you're good at noticing these kind of things. Do you know what's wrong with Hyde lately?"

Yukihiro had been expecting the question for a while now. After all, he did know his bandmates well.

"He was wrong when he could not afford it," the drummer answered cryptically, making the leader frown in confusion. "But he'll be fine," he muttered mostly to himself, "I'm sure he'll be fine after a while."

He just hoped he was right about it this time.


End file.
